Dad

I told Mom she needn't take off work on Thursday as I was planning on spending the day with Dad anyway and that I'd cook dinner too so she'd get a break.

Then I told Dad that I'd like to spend my birthday with him and asked what he'd like to do. He wants to constantly go places now, yet when he gets there he's ready to leave, like searching for something, not finding it, or remembering what he was looking for, and moving on. I told him I would take him to NYC if he'd like, or to Hunter Mountain, or anywhere else he wanted to go. His assignment was to think of something he'd like to do.

He's very excited about my visit. Every day he asks Mom, "when is Christine coming?"

She tells him the 19th and he asks what day it is now, then he goes to the calendar and counts the days.

So Thursday I will spend the day with Dad. Somehow I will broach the subject, again, of his Alzheimer's, and I will ask what his wishes are. My plan is to ascertain what he'd like done in terms of eventual living arrangements, life prolonging measures, final arrangements. I need to know what his thoughts are without Mom's input, hence divide and conquer. That evening the goal is to speak to both of them, with my brother present, and get them to fill out their living wills and health care proxies.

On Friday we have an appointment with their attorney so that Mom can get POA, enabling her to sign for him. POA in hand, on Saturday we go to the post office to open a PO box and have all their mail transferred there so that Dad can no longer "misfile" bills and checks.

Possibly more difficult -it's hard to gauge his reactions these days- will be getting him to give up credit cards and car keys. I thought I wouldn't press for the car keys yet, and still may not, but Mom said he drove to the Salvation Army the other day and bought some old furniture and paid to have it delivered. Trust me, the last thing they need is furniture, let alone Salvation Army furniture. He spends money on things he has no need for. He goes to auctions, drops a load of money and won't tell Mom what he bought. Etc, etc, etc, the stories continue.

Yesterday Dad asked if StW had received his package yet. (No.) He said he'd sent him a box of books. Architectural books, "because that's what he does." I reminded him he'd asked me to bring an extra suitcase so I can bring books back, so he doesn't have to mail them. No, he was happy to do it, and has more to give me when we get there.

The package arrived today. We love books, it doesn't matter what kind of books, but only one could have possibly been defined as an architectural book. It was some history of civilization volume, which of course contains art and architecture. There were nature books, a book on cartooning, a couple of books that were stamped high school discards, a home repair book, a gardening book. Big books, all.

StW, on the other hand, is enjoying his father-in-law immensely and is sad he didn't know him 10 years ago. But then, I didn't know him 10 years ago either.