Valentine's Monday

I've never been a huge fan of Valentine's Day. Any day seems like a fine day for chocolate and flowers, so the day just seems full of stress, anxiety and disappointment. Maybe that's just a description of my relationships on Valentine's Day. I don't know. Single Awareness Day -it also accentuates the loneliness of those who would like to have a partner but don't.

I remember last year's Valentine's Day too well, but through Amanda and Dylan. She described it today on Facebook, on RIP Dylan Hadley.

My dream last night (I'm supposed to write them down when I remember them) was weird. I think I was in college, but living on Briggs Avenue in the Bronx. I was walking to school but had to stop back at home. There were cafe tables set up with people sitting at them, in front of the building. I rang to be buzzed in, but my mom didn't answer the bell, so I went around through the back way. While I was there, I brushed my teeth, put on some make up and changed my clothes. I couldn't find shoes. None, anywhere. My mom thought she'd seen a rack of my shoes in the laundry room, so we went there to look. I chose yellow ones and wondered if yellow went with the purple pants I was wearing.

I asked her where Dylan was as "I haven't seen him in ages." She said he had a job at "Canteeners," which I seemed to know was a restaurant/bar/club type of place. "Well, he can't be there all the time," I said to her. She said that when he isn't working, he's hanging out there with his GF.

I was aware in my dream that it's been over 4 months since I've seen him.