Well it's been a month since I decided to go back to blogging. What a month it's been. The BEST excuse for not blogging is that I've been playing on Facebook. The MEDIOCRE excuse is that much of the time spent playing on FB has been semi successful in calming my frazzled nerves. The honest (BAD) excuse are the events of just one short month. Had I written about them as they were occurring, I might have retained them all, and the crazed emotions they wrought. Brought?
Regardless, this week (and one day next week) all Stressors come together for one big Phuckfest. Last night was a meeting with the Condo Board. D has already moved back home after being evicted by us (dropping out of College) and by the building (repeated REPEATED repeated noise violations.) That meeting was really bogus -all about how much $$$ they would fine us. Of course I could say how much they would fine D, but D doesn't have a job, nor realistic prospects in sight. Anyway, they're still tallying, having rejected our plea for mercy, leniency, or imprisonment of the mother due to extenuating circumstances, but as of right now we're up to $600.00. I'm sure there's a method to their mathness.
Today, after debating, fighting and angsting for way too long over hiring an attorney vs using a public defender ("we" hired an attorney -of course all legal fees will *someday* be paid by D) is the first of what will no doubt be several Court dates. D and a friend were arrested for having marijuana in the car when pulled over for something stupid (no light over license plate.) Disclosure (to his mother) came lumped in with his license having been suspended (one too many speeding tickets) the fact that he will probably lose it entirely until he's 21 due to another ticket while the suspension was in process, and God only knows what punishment will be meted out because while under bond for the above mentioned arrest, he drove a car (with the officially suspended license) because his buddy was too drunk to drive back from a party at a Frat house in bumphuck Illinois somewhere and D doesn't drink. (The police even tested him on the road and would have let him go except for that little matter of no license.)
His attorney has his work cut out for him and I'm sure the price went up when he heard about the ticket. "Our" goal at this point is to keep D out of jail and get him into treatment. We'll see how that goes.
Toward that goal we move on to tomorrow. In the morning I will be going to Court with J and C over the car accident that left MY car totalled when they were rear ended. By afternoon we move on to the hospital's drug and alcohol unit for an assessment of D. I think this will be the 3rd or 4th time. That appointment will be followed by D's Psychiatry appointment (med check) and my own weekly therapy appointment. That evening, because surely I'll have energy left, is my weekly Group meeting. And so ends Wednesday.
Thursday, ha, I think there might be nothing going on other than the usual mayhem. It's a full work day for me. (I've taken today and tomorrow off, having run out of hours in the day.) I might have neglected to mention all this goes on while I'm pretty sleep deprived (depraved?) due to the hours D keeps. He seems to be up almost all night, then falls asleep near dawn, getting his rest while I'm at work.
Friday, because I'm such a good mom (or one masochistic mofo) I am accompanying J to Court for what will hopefully be Closure to a year long case involving many meetings, classes, supervision and follow-up.
Let's see now, March 23rd will be the driving with a suspended license Court date -in a County I've never even heard of (but am hoping Lawyer has) and next week, on March 6, Friday, "we" get to deal with the Gov'ment itself as D has an appointment with a Psychologist and an Adjudicator to assess whether he's disabled enough to be Disabled. (I could go on and on about that one, but really, is it necessary?)
So, that's a summary of my month. Of course I've left out the parental issues, and they seem to be cropping up more frequently, work, and, gee, have you noticed I haven't mentioned W? (Thank God for anything I've forgotten.)
UPDATE:
D just left for Court with his partner in crime, (so they can smoke in the car on the way there) whose tie I had to tie. Doesn't he have a mother? Maybe they ought use some of their criminal tendencies to learn tie tying or cooking or something.
UPDATED UPDATE:
"Drug School." Completion closes his (this) case. In celebration, and preparation for tomorrow's mountain, I am going to go watch last night's 24.
G'night.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
I see you ignored my advice and stayed in town. Does D always show up for these appointments?
I wish I had a advice. I can't give you the tough love talk because I was never able to pull it off and never completely believed in it. The best I can do is send good vibes on the wind.
Oh, this there. I thought it had been abandoned. How many years have I been following your ADD butt all over the internets? And I still can't keep up!
OK that's a lot of stuff this week. And I was bemoaning my boring life. Never again. I don't know how you do it!
See, here is where I am not sure whether it is good to have some funds, or bad. Cause if all that happened here, well there would be no way to get funds, except for a 2nd mortgage, and I pray God I never have to go there!
I gave you my best advice the other night, set boundaries and keep them. Demand repayment even if it is the proverbial 5 bucks a week. Hold him accountable. All the while loving him and worrying about him. Its what we moms seem programmed to do.
(((((hugs))))))
As the wise SM quoth, "I can't give you the tough love talk because I was never able to pull it off". I do know a few things, though. You are one of the greatest people I've ever met. You are a good person, to the core, and you have wisdom and strength that you, perhaps, have never totally tapped into. I wish I knew what was the right thing to do, the simple solution, but I don't. You have to ride this one out, have courage, and summon the strength within you to do what you need to do, when you need to do it. And I for one, have absolutely no doubt that you have within you what it takes to navigate these stormy waters, do the right thing, and get through it. I love you, big sister, and I am thinking of you and sending you positive vibes and support to the max. You can do it. You can get through this awful time and do the right thing. Yes, you can. Hugs and (little brotherly) love to you...
I love "method to their mathness" and I am so seconding, thirding, fourthing,etc. everything Swamprad said. Teme
<3 I love you. And because how many times do you want to read the same thing? But of course I agree with the above. I am a pusher for that Tough Love because I did see my parents make it through that. (Though we've yet to use it against my father... so I get the hardness of it too!)
You are amazing, you are strong, you are loving and everything that a mother should be. God Bless You with some calm toward yourself even while everything spins crazily outside of yourself.
** hugs **
Thanks for letting me know where there was... and I messaged you on FB in response to your wall posting ;-)
Just wanted you to know I'm reading and thinking of you.
Post a Comment